Just thinking

This is just me taking 10 minutes to get what I am thinking out into the open air.  I just have so many thoughts tumbling around in my head, sometimes it helps to get them out of there, and I am a faster typer than I am a hand-writer.

So Jeremy and I are contemplating putting down an offer on a house.  This house is gorgeous.  I mean, wow!  But, it is expensive.  I mean, all houses are expensive, and it isn't like, a million-dollar home or anything.  It is, however, on the outside range of what we were willing to pay (per month).  Now, this wouldn't be a big problem if Jeremy gets a better job, but when you are first hired on, your position is more tenuous than if you had been there for a while. He is nervous (I think) and that makes me nervous.

I have always been a "jump in with both feet" kind of girl.  I think things through, but when I have made a decision, I jump.  Jeremy and I had talked about our finances, and because I thought the thinking time was over, I saw something I REALLY liked, within our limitations, and I was ready to jump.

I am so grateful for Jeremy, who has the wisdom to take a second look at things, or sometimes a third or fourth look at things.  Honestly, sometimes when I jump, things turn out great, but sometimes, I end up frenching a gross stranger in a dingy bar in Anchorage.

Right now I am taking a second look at our decision.  We haven't put down the offer yet.  We were going to last night, but something came up with the listing and we couldn't.  That gave Jeremy the cool-down time to start thinking again, which got me thinking again.  At first I thought that if God wanted us there, He would open the door to us, and if He didn't, then the house would cease to be available.  Now I am thinking that it is possible that God placed that small obstacle in our path so that we would take a second look at the road ahead.

I am afraid that we SHOULDN'T get the house.  Because I WANT it.

Don't you hate it when wisdom and desires come in conflict.  Now I have to choose which one wins, and, sadly (for my heart) I am leaning towards wisdom...